


3 Times Kevin Fell in Love With the Wrong Person (And The One Time He Didn't)

by montecarlos



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Angst, M/M, Romance, Underage Kissing, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-06
Updated: 2016-04-06
Packaged: 2018-05-31 17:16:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6479194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/montecarlos/pseuds/montecarlos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They always say third times the charm. But for Kevin Magnussen, it takes a while longer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	3 Times Kevin Fell in Love With the Wrong Person (And The One Time He Didn't)

**Author's Note:**

> In this fic; Nico and Kevin are brothers. I'm sure 100% sure about this fic but I wanted to finish it and I hope I've done Kevin's character justice. 
> 
> For Lisbeth, hope you like this boo. 
> 
> Enjoy it!

1\. Lewis  
  
Kevin had known Lewis since he was eight years old - Lewis was fifteen; he was smart, funny, his laughter was infectious - Kevin remembers looking over his dark skin, his baggy t-shirts and his gap-toothed smile. Lewis didn’t treat him like a baby, Lewis let him sit in his kart, Lewis shared his ice cream with Kevin. Kevin remembers the warm feeling that curled inside his chest when he glances at Lewis across the racing paddock. He’s sitting with Nico in the grass by the side of the track, there’s a wide smile on his brother’s lips that he’s never seen before - Nico becomes a different person when he’s with Lewis. His smile is wide, he laughs, he acts more like a kid than the adult their father wants him to be. Kevin watches them carefully, his attention is so focused on Lewis that he doesn’t see his brother’s hand moving to curl around Lewis’s hand. He writes off the slight touches, the hugs, the hand curling over shoulders, the lovebites decorating Lewis’s neck, they’re just friends he thinks, he’s still not sure what the warmth inside his chest is.   
  
Kevin grows up, Lewis leaves their lives for a few years - Nico barely mentions him, but Kevin isn’t stupid. He hears Nico quietly talking on his phone late at night - telling the person on the other end how much he misses them, how he can’t wait to see them again. It’s not until he’s fifteen and he’s in Melbourne with his parents and his sister, watching Nico race. Nico ends up on the podium and Kevin watches carefully as a familiar dark-skinned young man appears in front of his brother, pulling him into a warm hug. Kevin’s eyes widen as the realisation hits him - the man cuddling Nico is Lewis - Lewis has blossomed into a young man. Kevin watches the slight touches, the smile on his brother’s face, and the realisation suddenly hits him.    
  
Nico’s in love with Lewis.    
  
The warmth in his chest suddenly turns cold as he glances at his brother, his fingers curled around Lewis’s waist. He can never be with Lewis - not when he sees the look that Nico gives Lewis. He withdraws to his room, he plays angry songs over and over again, he steals cigarettes from his father’s box and sits in the window of his bedroom, slowly puffing on them. He ignores Nico’s worried glances - he blames his brother to an extent, but then sometimes, he scribbles away in his notebook, angry words in different languages - he blames himself for falling in love with someone so unattainable.    
  
However, as months go by, the angry words stop, the music continues but Kevin stops taking the cigarettes away. He watches his brother smile at Lewis, the dark-skinned man returns the smile, their hands entwined, and he realises that he can’t destroy something like that. He meets Jenson a few days after that, after he turns sixteen, when he and Nico go to visit Lewis at McLaren.    
  


* * *

  
2\. Jenson  
  
Kevin is sixteen when he first meets Jenson - the blonde is friendly enough, he flashes Kevin a warm smile and shakes his hand. Kevin feels a little starstruck - Jenson is a Formula One driver and he knows that he should be used to it with his father and his brother both in the business, but there’s something about Jenson’s smile that makes Kevin’s stomach curl with warmth once more. He’s trying to move on from Lewis, trying not to feel the hurt twist in his chest as he watches Nico’s fingers brush against Lewis’s. Jenson ends up winning the race and Lewis comes in second - Nico is invited to the McLaren party and Kevin somehow manages to persuade his brother to invite him too. He ends up tucked up in some corner, watching Nico snog Lewis over by the DJ booth, long, dark fingers tangled into long, blonde hair - a drink is pushed into his hands.   
  
“You looked like you needed it,” Jenson’s blue eyes gaze into his own. “I know you’re sixteen but I figured being Keke’s son, you’ve probably had alcohol before,”  
  
He slides into the booth beside Kevin, his fingers reluctant to move away from the blonde’s before he takes a sip of his bottle of Corona.   
  
“I’m not an alcoholic,” Kevin says as he takes a small sip of the drink. “Just making that perfectly clear,”  
  
“I never said you were,” Jenson says, his smile wide. “I just wanted to break the ice, Nico’s super protective of you but he’s a little busy right now-”  
  
“He’s too protective, I’m an adult now,” Kevin says, knocking back the drink. He feels stronger, more confident with every sip of the drink against his tongue.   
  
Jenson laughs lightly. “I wanted to talk to you, you looked lonely over here on your own,” He follows Kevin’s gaze over to where his brother is standing, brushing a kiss against Lewis’s cheek. “I see how it is,” Jenson says softly, his face filled with realisation. “You like him,”  
  
Kevin shakes his head, his cheeks colouring. “I liked him, I don’t now, it was just some stupid crush. I don’t even know why, I guess, that he gave me the attention I really wanted,”  
  
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Jenson whispers, his hand ghosts over Kevin’s thigh. Kevin looks at Jenson through wide eyes. Jenson’s tongue ghosts over his lips as his eyes lock on Kevin. “I just need to know if I’m taking this the wrong way, but-”  
  
“You’re not,” Kevin whispers, his thoughts dizzy with alcohol.   
  
*  
  
Jenson presses him against the wall, their lips connect together, Jenson’s hands clasp at his clothes. Jenson gives him his first kiss, against the wall, the pumping bass in the background - Kevin remembers Jenson’s stubble rubbing against his sensitive skin, his cologne curling into his nostrils. Jenson’s lips capture his own, his tongue sweeping over Kevin’s mouth - he tastes like alcohol, Kevin thinks, as he moans against Jenson’s lips. Jenson smirks as he pulls his mouth away, his tongue swiping over his lips, his eyes flashing.   
  
“You’re amazing,” Jenson whispers as he leans in, his lips brushing against Kevin’s collarbone, grazing over the pale skin. Kevin feels a sigh roll over his parted lips as Jenson’s hands ghost over his body, mapping every inch of him. “You’re beautiful,”  
  
Kevin believes every word that passes Jenson’s lips - the blonde makes him feel amazing, he finally feels like he’s in love. His chest flutters every time he looks at Jenson, everytime Jenson texts him, every time his hands ghost over Kevin’s hips, every time their lips meet.  
  
*  
  
It doesn’t last, it never was supposed to. Kevin is eighteen when he finds the messages on Jenson’s phone - telling him that he had a great time and he couldn’t wait to do it again, babe - he confronts Jenson later that evening, stands in the lounge where Jenson doesn’t deny any of the allegations. Jenson just stands before him, his lip caught between his teeth.   
  
“She didn’t mean anything to me,” Jenson says, looking guilty. “It’s you I love,”  
  
_You I love._ Kevin knows he should walk away, but he feels the twinges in his chest at Jenson’s words, at his watery eyes, the guilt on his face.   
  
He takes Jenson back. They fall back into each other’s arms that night - Jenson brushing kisses against his collarbone, pressing himself inside Kevin - Kevin remembers biting his lip as he feels Jenson’s cock brush inside him, the I love you whispered against his skin. He wonders how many people Jenson has said that to - how many people he’s pressed into his sheets, whispering their name with such intensity. He doesn’t even realise when Jenson comes inside him, collapsing against his chest.   
  
*  
  
It isn’t long before Kevin finds the instagram photos of Jenson with his arm around her - the other woman. He feels sick as he glances at his boyfriend’s arm pressed around this woman, feels sick when he sees the timestamp, a few days since they last saw each other, since Jenson had to go on business. He doesn’t end up calling Jenson to end it - he just blocks him on all his social media, ignores Jenson’s calls, ignores everything. He pretends like the man isn’t in his life anymore. However, the ache inside his chest remains as he watches Jenson post more photos of himself with her - his arm around her waist - Kevin throws his phone across the room, he ignores the tears that fall down his cheeks, ignores the pain twisting inside his chest. He feels the sobs rip through his chest, they cut through him like daggers - he hates himself for falling in love with Jenson.   
  
*  
  
“She’s pregnant,” Jenson says, worrying his lip. He looks good - his skin is tanned, his hair bleached blonde by the sun. Kevin knows instinctively she’s in the car waiting for him - he wonders if he can spot her glossy dark hair in the passenger seat.   
  
Kevin swallows back the lump in his throat. “Congratulations, I’m sure you two will be happy together,”  
  
Jenson bites his lip. “Kev-”  
  
“Don’t you dare, just take your things and get out. Don’t you have a nursery to paint?” Kevin says, holding back the tears.   
  
Jenson remains silent after that, brushing past Kevin.   
  
*  
  
Kevin waits until Jenson leaves, sliding down the wall, the sobs tearing from his throat. He finds a photo of Jenson on instagram an hour later, his hand curved around her tiny bump and feels the tears burn over his cheeks again.   
  
He wishes he’d never loved Jenson.  
  


* * *

  
3\. Sebastian  
  
Sebastian is nothing more than a one night stand at first, Kevin is scared to be hurt again. Sebastian is a sweet enough guy, Kevin met him when he was a young boy driving for Toro Rosso, back when his brother was still at Williams. Sebastian was kind, funny, and they had been passing friends, they spoke to each other in passing every few Grand Prix. They’re in Monaco when Kevin finds himself drunk at some random bar where half the drivers are, he’s buzzed slightly with alcohol. He saw a flash of Jenson for a moment, remembers that they are not together anymore, that they are no longer lovers, that Jenson has to get home to her - her and the baby. He tips another glass of champagne down, feeling the buzz move over his belly.   
He ends up on the dancefloor, ends up meeting blue eyes - blue eyes that belong to a fellow driver. Sebastian smiles widely at him. Kevin smiles back as they dance together- Kevin knows that Sebastian was dating one of the other drivers but they’ve broke it off. He just wants to have some fun, he wants to forget Jenson. Sebastian is an easy distraction - he feels guilty doing so, but it’s easy to fall in love with the blonde for that moment. Sebastian is attractive, he’s funny, he’s smart - Kevin collapses into bed with him, nudges away the thoughts of Jenson as Sebastian’s lips ghost over his own.   
  
*  
  
He pretends he loves Sebastian, tries not to imagine Jenson above him, but Sebastian’s pale blue eyes seem to darken and the spectre of Jenson hangs over their relationship, hangs over them - at first, Sebastian pretends that nothing is wrong, that Kevin isn’t chancing glances at the opposite end of the garage. Sebastian pretends that nothing is wrong - even when they’re in Spa and he pushes Kevin into the sheets, their skin sweaty, their lips brushing together, Sebastian’s lips brushing over Kevin’s pale skin - he pretends that Kevin doesn’t call out Jenson’s name when they fuck. Kevin still sees the hurt expression on his face, the upset in his eyes. They struggle through, they carry on, pretending they’re in love. They go to restaurants. Sebastian tells him he loves him. They hold hands. They make love. It’s easy to forget that Jenson is somewhere else, tucked away in his bachelor pad in some corner of Monaco with another one of his fancy women, it’s easy to forget that Kevin isn’t really in love with Seb, he’s in love with the idea of loving the blonde.   
  
*  
  
“I can’t do this anymore,” Sebastian says, his face is pale and his eyes are full of hurt. “I can’t pretend that this is something that I want anymore,”  
  
Kevin can’t say he’s surprised that this was coming.   
  
“I’m sorry, Kevin,” He says, his pale blue eyes locked on him. “Someday, you will make somebody very happy but I just don’t think we should do this anymore,”  
  
“I’m sorry,” Kevin whispers.   
  
“For what?” Sebastian asks, confusion ghosting over his face.   
  
“I did love you,” Kevin admits. “But not as much as I loved him,”   
  
Sebastian just smiles, his hand ghosting over Kevin’s.  
  


* * *

  
+1. Stoffel  
  
He’s known Stoffel for a couple of years; he’s heard his name bandied about on the circuits, he knows that Ron wants him for McLaren in a couple of years time. However, when he’s first introduced to the young Belgian, he’s met with a very different person than the one he imagined. Stoffel is not the confident, cocksure young man that he was expecting. He’s tall, has dark hair and he’s softly spoken, his pale blue eyes - so familiar to Kevin - end up looking at his shoes.   
  
“I’ve heard lots about you,” Kevin says, holding his hand out. “It’s nice to meet you,”  
  
“Likewise,” Stoffel says, he glances up, his eyes locking on Kevin. “I hope they were only good things,”  
  
Kevin feels a laugh bubble past his lips. He doesn’t anticipate Stoffel being anything more than someone who he sees every now and then in the garage. But he’s wrong. McLaren drop him, they kick him to the kerb when Fernando gets in the picture. Stoffel finds Kevin that night when he’s informed, sitting on the bathroom counter, tears drying on his cheeks.   
  
“I heard about McLaren,” He says softly.   
  
“Doesn’t matter,” Kevin says wetly. “I’ll just-”   
  
“It was a shitty thing to do,” Stoffel admits, his eyes locked on the blonde.   
  
“I just-” Kevin begins, his face crumpled. “I’ve been with them for so long- I really thought they would treat me better than this,”  
  
“I’m sorry,” Stoffel says.   
  
“What are you sorry for?” Kevin says through his tears. “Did you email me and tell me I’m not needed anymore?”  
  
“I’m still sorry for what happened to you,” Stoffel says. “Doesn’t make it right,”  
  
“It’s not your fault,” Kevin says. “You don’t do this to me,” He wipes away the tears from his face. “You must think I’m such an idiot sitting here crying over this,”  
  
“I don’t think you’re an idiot,” Stoffel says softly. He moves closer to Kevin, his pale blue eyes focused on the other man. His hand moves out to cup Kevin’s face, his thumb rubbing over one of the drying tears. “I see someone who is hurting,”  
  
“Stoff-” Kevin begins but Stoffel leans in and brushes their lips together. It’s a feather touch - just for a moment, a brief encounter - but it makes something in Kevin’s chest seize up - a feeling he’s not had since he kissed Jenson. However, it’s over before it’s even begun. Stoffel pulls away with panicked eyes. “I’m sorry,” He says. “I shouldn’t have done that,”   
  
Kevin grabs his wrist, his thumb drifting over the pale skin. “Don’t run,” He says, blue locking on blue.   
  
Stoffel doesn’t. Kevin leans back in and captures his lips. He doesn’t think of Jenson once. He doesn’t think of anything but Stoffel, his hands fisting into Stoffel’s t-shirt as their lips glide over each other, breathily sighs ghosting from their lips.   
  
*  
  
He realises he’s in love several months later when they’re lying in bed together, tangled between the sheets. His eyes ghost over Stoffel’s pale form, his long eyelashes hiding his pale blue eyes, his freckled chest rising and falling softly. He realises that he’s not thought about Jenson once. He leans forward and presses a kiss against Stoffel’s cheek, against the thin stubble, warmth curving through his chest.   
  
“I love you,” He whispers. Stoffel doesn’t wake up. He smiles at the man before him, realises that he’s left Jenson in the past, that his future is lying in the bed before him.   
  
He glances down at his phone, at the email from Renault and smiles. He can’t wait to tell Stoffel when he wakes up.   



End file.
